manilabula.gif (6430 bytes)

 


Article 1 Legal Weapons of War

1.1 SHOTS FIRED IN ANGER: The only legal shots are ESQ, Relska, Gilbey's, and J&B. After an individual fires a shot at the enemy, he must wait an appropriate time for the enemy to return his fire. Automatic weapons are strictly prohibited. No chemical warfare is allowed, i.e. everclear, or LL in a drink. The use of illegal shots may be grounds for arrest by ACPOTS (Angeles City Peace & Order Task Force) headed by General Louie Tan.

Article 2 Combatants

2.1 UNIFORMS: All combatants must were proper uniforms (t-shirts with logos) so they can be properly identified. Individuals in enemy territory without proper uniforms will be treated as spies IAW Article 5.

Article 3 Communications Between Warring Parties

3.1 FACE TO FACE: Direct communication is authorized and encouraged. Individuals that properly display a white flag may not be fired upon.

3.2 E-MAIL: This is the electronic age, so communications via electronic message are allowed. Since this communication may be sent from various locations, it is often safer than face-to-face communications because the enemies cannot shoot at each other.

3.3 CELLULAR PHONES: Cel-phones are never allowed since there has been some confusion in the past about ownership and rights to use/carry said phones.

Article 4 Rights for Humane Treatment

4.1 PRISIONERS OF WAR: Prisoners of war may be captured by either side (and the international observers). Since the majority of the POW's in Balibago are of the female gender, several humanitarian rules apply: (1) restraints such as ropes and hand-cuffs should only be used as a last recourse, (2) POW's may be strip searched, but 'cavity checks' should be kept to a minimum, (3) POW's are entitled to rest periods (usually in an air-conditioned room with hot water showers and access to channel 14 on cable TV, (4) POW's must be released in the morning, or the capturer should pay a cash penalty for violating this article.

4.2 REFUGEES: All female refugees (under 16) will be cared for by C-TARTS (Chuck's Tasteful Asian Red-hot Teens Services) IAW international treaties on refugees and asylum.

4.3 RED CROSS: Observation teams are welcomed by both sides, but only by female NGO's. C-TART encampments are strictly off-limits.

Article 5 Spies

5.1 SPIES: Individuals wearing the uniform of the enemy, or wearing 'civilian attire' are technical spies. Captured spies will be forced to by a round of drinks for the individual(s) capturing them. They will then be banished to the Irish Pub.

Article 6 Truce Periods

6.1 TRUCE PERIODS: A reasonable amount of time every day for meals and I&I shall be considered a period of truce. bar-hopping excursions shall be considered 'truce periods' if one or more parties is displaying a white flag (or white handkerchief protrudes from a pocket).

Article 7 Neutral Areas

7.1 NEUTRAL AREAS: Rick's Cafe has been designated as a neutral area. In order to patrol this area, the peace-keepers have promoted the Wizard to Warrant Officer and sent in a small patrol headed by Captain Twit.